2nd June 2019 Sunday – The preamble

Hello Everybody!

Route: Reading to Penzance (Train) – Penzance to Land’s End (Cycle)

For the non-mathematicians out there:

Distance: 9 miles (Total 9)	Average speed: 11.1 mph
Calories: 292	Cycling time: 49m05s
Average cadence: 75 rpm	Climb: 833ft, Descent: 554ft
Heart (yes I have one): max 154 aver 134	Aver Temp: 16C, Max temp 23C
Temperament: A very gentle kick in the head

The last paragraph from my USA blog was as shown above, no sorry below:

“Last blog, I signed off with another person in our team – namely Arnolda. She, for she is female, is Arnold’s girlfriend and I have imagined her as well. She is an internationally renowned swimmer, is not “orange” colour blind and likes the sound crickets make. When we visited the SF north beach, both Arnold (who is also a pretty good swimmer) and Arnolda decided to swim across to Marin County and move to the imaginary village that is there. The village is called Imagination and is a place that we should all go to every day. They telephoned me earlier today and are living very happily ever after. Arnold will keep in touch via Whatsapp (to help with telephone charges mainly) so our friendship will continue albeit on a less frequent basis. Arnold was a great team player and both Franklin and I will miss him. I promised not to tell but Arnolda is expecting an imaginary baby to be named Arnie.”

So what’s new with the Arnold’s?

Before I begin, let me explain how Imaginary (big “I” just in case) people progress in life. The main thing to know is that they develop at 3 times the rate of non-imaginery people, similar to Dog years at 7 times but with much less fur and no ability to lick things [EDITOR: Alan is really going to get some Ruth “advice” on correctitude I think]. On first review this might not seem very good for Imaginary people BUT they all live to the ripe old age (in their terms) of 258 years 57 days and 3.14 hours, so not that bad really and at least they can plan their funeral properly.

Anyway in the background I have been arranging the travel arrangements with Arnold and family. To wit to woo, they arrived in the UK, specifically Land’s End, at exactly the same time as I did. Who’d have thunk’d it? Obvs they travelled by swimming across the Atlantic with little Arnie sitting on Arnold’s back for most but not all of their trip. Arnie is nownearly 5 so he is able to talk (3 languages, including Whispering – which actually is a REAL language), do sums, complete small welding jobs and laugh out loud in 4D.

They will be cycling along with me each day and will also visit different places as we progress. They have a Tridem bicycle [EDITOR: Please note Alan does not have one of these bikes, at least not yet] with Arnold steering, Arnolda as Stoker and Arnie as being as cute as a cutie pie.

Anyway, after last night’s lovely wedding of my very good friend Debbie Knight (now Morrison which should be happy for shopping trips) to the lucky chap known as Fraser Morrison – same surname what a coincidence, Ruth dutifully took me to Reading Train Station and quickly left in case I had forgotten anything – please see later.

Myself and Franklin quite enjoyed the journey especially because of the following things, yes in a list format yet again.

List of things that made our journey memorable:

1. there was no buffet carriage or trolley until Exeter – only 2 and a bit hours so no probs.
2. I did not have any water, food, stains on my clothing that I could suck on for sustenance, or even a photograph of Gordon Ramsey.
3. After Exeter the train stopped being an InterCity 125 and became much more of a InterSmallPlaceYouNeverHeardOf 37.8.
4. Franklin really enjoyed his very first train journey as you can see in the photees.

Franklin watching the trees

Franklin seeing the mystic Pyramid of Cornwall which is only visible from a train.

Mre tress but with more Sun (Capital "S" just in case)

Franklin telegraph pole spotting

After getting off in Penzance we removed Blossom from the cycle storage area and sped off to Land’s End, where a luvverly B&B was waiting for us all. As previously mentioned, so mucho mucho Obvs we were meeting the 3 A’s there, given the close proximity of the Atlantic.

The short cycle journey was not as easy as one might expect. It was hilly, it was windy, it was road made by the Romans after drinking 2 gallons of wine, it was road maintained by BodgeIt & Run, local carpetbaggers and knife sharpeners Inc, it was also not very warm, it was also raining for a little bit, it was most certainly NOT what we wanted to occur. Other than that it was fine. See below.

The B&B was very nice although not InSweet, Oh Dear and Oh NO, not at all Gra. Anyway me, Franklin and the 3 A’s all slept in the same bed (nothing naughty) and we all had the same dream although we couldn’t remember it in the morning.

Tomorrow the real challenge starts but have no fear, ‘cos we have no idea.

PS Ruth made we forget my 2 base layers, my sunglasses which I realllly loike and my quadlock – don’t ask but it is quite important to have one or even four of them.

PS Sorry for very late delivery of only 1 blog so far but will "get onto it" ASAP or even sooner.